Did you know April is a crazy month? At least around here it is. I have been slacking so much on my blog, but just so you know there will be two posts for you here today. April 22nd is one of those bittersweet days for me. Today is my oldest daughter’s birthday. She made me a mother 15 years ago today. I will have a post just for her at 11:17 tonight (the time she was actually born 15 years ago on April 22nd). But today was also the expected due date of her little sister who we lost in December 2008. I’m afraid my oldest has had a hard time knowingly sharing a birthdate with the expected due date of a sister we never really got to know for the last five years. I’m beyond grateful that I have her birthday to celebrate.
I’m not interested in what could have beens too much these days. I am who I am because of the experiences I have had and that includes the loss of my angel. So instead I would like to celebrate this day with my family and our guardian angel. What could have been and never was has given us all so much over the last five years.
So to Celeste Alia, today we celebrate what you gave us in your very short life which was spent inside of me. We have gained perspective and understanding that life is short and we should live life to its fullest. We have been able to meet many other loss parents walking the same or similar paths as us who are some of the best and kindest group of people I have ever known. They are always the first to openly remember you with me and that means the world to me. We have learned that while it never stops hurting it does get better with time. We are stronger for having known you my angel.
Five years ago I was looking for any sign you were with us, but now I know, you have always been with us. You are in each one of your siblings. You might not be here with us, but you are never forgotten. Your legacy will live on Celeste. We love you always. Happy 5 year EDD! Have a piece of cake with our family in heaven with you. And remember you always have a place in all of our hearts.