Have we lost that sense of accountability in this country though? I am beginning to think so. We blame everyone else for our own actions. TV made me do it, video games made me do it, my friend/coworker made me do it. And while that might be acceptable for a child (although not in my house) an adult who can and should know better really needs to start standing up and paying the piper. Otherwise what kind of an example are we setting for our children?
Own Your Life
I have been talking a lot to my oldest children about owning up to their mistakes. They are all really good at pointing the finger at each other in things. The thing is we can’t control what other people do we can only control ourselves. We have to take ownership of the things that we do wrong so we can enjoy the things we do right that much more. This is a tough concept for our children to understand. It’s a tough concept for adults to understand apparently.
I don’t want my children going through life looking for the easy way out of things. You make a mistake you own up to it and you face it head on. Don’t sit there and say the media made me do it. No self respecting adult should ever feel comfortable passing the blame onto someone else. Take ownership of everything in your life. When you do that, then things get so much easier.
You Will Be Respected For It
Nothing is more annoying and infuriating to me than someone who is always saying how victimized they are. Now don’t get me wrong, people are victims in some cases, but not all the time. If you have to run and hide a lifetime of lies and reinvent yourself every year or so, then you are not owning up to your mistakes. And it truly comes off as childish and immature.
Who wants to spend her entire life as the victim? If you look back on your life and all you see is a lifetime of bullying and you still think it’s happening to you, then it’s probably time to reevaluate. It’s time to take a good long hard look in the mirror and say to yourself, did I contribute to this in some way? Did I step over people and pass the buck every time something went wrong in my life just to get where I am? If so then own it. Come clean about everything.
And do not blame people for every single thing that happens in your life. Not completing or following through with something you start cannot possibly be the fault of someone else. You have all of the control in the world to make these things happen and happen well. If you don’t complete them, then don’t look for someone else to be the scapegoat. It’s childish and quite frankly insults people’s intelligence.
Don’t Create Another Generation Of Irresponsibility
Remember that our children are watching our every move. If you are always blaming others for your short comings, then they will learn to do the same. And children already do it. All of my children have a tendency to point their finger at someone else when they do something wrong.
I am forever talking to them about if they feel they could have done something differently to show them we have a choice. What would have happened if you didn’t follow Suzy off that bridge? She would have called you a chicken and maybe laughed at you, but where did following her get you? A broken neck, so what’s worse? This is exactly what I try to get my children to think about. Because we cannot control what other people are going to do, we can only control our own actions. And this is all a part of being an adult, standing up and taking responsibility when we make a mistake. Well, at least it used to be.
Short of having a mental disorder there is no reason adults should ever feel the need to NOT hold themselves accountable for things. If you do the crime, then you do the time. If you drop the ball and don’t follow through, then don’t point the finger and say she made me do it. That could not and should not fly in any civilized country.
We seem to see more figures in authority doing it though. I smoked weed, but I did not inhale comes to mind. I guess if those who are in charge aren’t going to own their actions, then why should the rest of us? I would love to see us get away from that line of thinking.
What do you think? Are less and less adults taking responsibility for their actions?