My baby girl turns 2 today. Where does the time go? I have been asking myself that very question all week long. And don’t get me wrong, the fact that my oldest is 13 going on 14 in a few short months has not escaped me. The problem when your baby turns 2 though? Well, it’s all just one step closer to no more babies in the house.
It’s not even like I’ve had constant babies in my house. There are 3 years between my oldest and middle daughter. Five years between my middle daughter and son. And just over 3 years between my son and the baby. So I have been without babies in the house before. Heck, I’ve even said I’m done having babies before. I think a part of me always knew it was a possibility that we could add to our family before though.
We are done now. Done done done. I am completely fine with that decision. Four kids is definitely a handful. It is enough for both me and my husband. Pregnancy hasn’t been the greatest to me over the years either. So we are content with how things are.
Yet I Still Have The Baby Blues
A few months ago my daughters pacifiers all began to disappear. The ones that did not disappear she managed to chew a hole in. So when she finally chewed a hole in the last one left that I could find we tossed it and held our breath that she would handle the no pacifier thing okay. And really, she did find with it. Truth be told that was probably the easiest of all of my children to get rid of the pacifier.
I was happy to be rid of them. To not see her chomping away on that thing everyday. To see her beautiful smiling face. Then suddenly over the past few weeks those missing pacifiers have been showing back up. Not that she has found them, but someone else has. Someone may have given her one of the found pacifiers too. That I was not happy about. I snatched it away and again it didn’t phase her, but I did not throw it away. I put it back on the counter behind the sink.
I should have just tossed it. I mean sure there are places which will bronze a pacifier, but do I want to do that? Ummm, no, I think that’s kind of strange. I don’t want this pacifier, she doesn’t want this pacifier, but yet I can’t bring myself to toss it either. It’s like tossing the pacifier is tossing a final piece of her infancy and I just don’t think I’m ready to say goodbye to that just yet.
She’ll Always Be My Baby
I know, poor kid is going to be stuck always being my baby. No matter how old she gets I’ll probably always refer to her as “baby girl“. I can’t help it, that’s what I have been calling her since the day she was born. But while she’ll always be my baby, she isn’t always going to act like a baby. She isn’t always going to need me for everything in her life. She isn’t going to need pacifiers to soothe her. She isn’t going to need me to change her diapers. She isn’t going to need me to feed her. Most of these things she already doesn’t need from me.
And while I’ve still got a whole lot to teach her and a whole lot more parenting to do it somehow seems to be going faster than her siblings did. I feel like I blinked and one stage of her life was over. Now we’re firmly in the next stage of life and I’m still trying to come to terms with her not being that teeny tiny baby anymore.
You know what’s funny? When you have your first child you are so anxious for all of the firsts. I distinctly remember thinking I can’t wait for her to crawl and then walk and get that first tooth. When she accomplished that I couldn’t wait for the next big thing. I’m still doing it. Okay, well maybe not, I think I can wait for her to start high school. But honestly, I’m looking forward to her future. I just don’t like that I’m going to have to say I’m old enough to be a mom to a high school student is all. I am always dreaming about things like prom and homecoming dances for her. Buying that dress with her. Thinking about visiting college campuses and helping her weed through all of that stuff to choose the college she wants to go to. I can’t wait to see how all of that goes and what she’s going to choose.
And the more children you have the more you want to hold off all of those milestones. And I swear the harder you try to stop them from growing up before your vary eyes the faster they grow up.
Many of you know that there is one area of my youngest daughter’s development that hasn’t gone quite as smoothly as we would have liked and it has required a little help. She does not talk much. Definitely not intelligible language to anyone. We understand some of what she says, but it’s mostly in context. Truth be told a lot of her words sound the same. However, there is no mistaking when she says, “Why?” This is one thing she says very clearly and says A LOT. Like seriously I tell her to do something, she asks why, I explain why, she asks why again. It could go on and on all day long. I quickly stop it by asking her why back which always seems to puzzle her.
When I told her therapist the other day about her new widely used word and very clearly she looked at me and said, “That’s a 3 year old thing!“ Oy, so she’s actually a year ahead, in the sass department anyways, of where she should be. Perfect!
She started the “terrible 2′s” a year ahead of schedule too. So I guess I shouldn’t be too surprised, but really I am. Or not really surprised, but definitely feeling blue. I don’t want my baby girl growing this fast. I would love for her to stay little forever.
But Alas, Life Goes On
She is growing and learning and I wouldn’t have it any other way really. I just need to cherish these moments that much more. Remember every second of her and remember to laugh at the 20 million “why’s” a day that I receive from her. Because while it might be an advanced skill it means that she is learning. And as she grows her needs are going to change, but she’s still going to need me. So I guess I just need to accept this.
Babies will be in my life again one day. Hopefully no day soon because that means one of my daughters got pregnant at a rather young age and I’m a grandmother. But in the meantime I’ll have to take in as much of other people’s babies as I can and be sure to not revel in the past too much so that I miss the present.
Happy 2nd Birthday to my BABY GIRL! Mommy loves you and I can’t wait to take this journey with you!
How do you feel about your children getting older?