It is so important to make sure you are building your children up and not breaking them down, but it’s also a very difficult task to achieve. Parenting is a stressful job and children do things to test us all the time, but we need to make sure we are always careful about what we say in front of our children so they can grow up to be confident and strong.
10 Ways To Build Self Esteem
- Kill ‘em with kindness. Always speaking kind to our children seems pretty obvious, but it’s also a very difficult task when you think about it. There is a blog post I read a few years ago from Life With My Special Ks which was very eye opening for me and offered an excellent challenge. I think everyone should give it a read and accept the challenge of saying 3 nice things to your child everyday. Sounds simple enough, doesn’t it? Cheer them on, don’t tear them down.
- Give hugs and kisses freely. Don’t force it on them, but when asked take the time to give. Even if you’re in the middle of doing something else. Children need to know that they are your #1 priority at any given moment.
- Recognize their strengths. I have 4 very different children. Instead of comparing them and saying things like, “Why can’t you be more like your sister?” compliment them on what they are good at. And if at all possible put them in a school position which will help them exceed at their strengths. My oldest daughter is very academically inclined, but my middle daughter is much more interested in the arts. It’s okay that school doesn’t come so easily to her because she always gives it her all, but giving her a place to work at what she’s really good at will help take the pressure off of her when it comes to the academics.
- Talk to them about everything. This is why the family dinner is so important. It helps you to reconnect and discuss your day so you are always up on what’s going on in your children’s life. If you are always willing to talk about the little mundane stuff of the day, then they’ll know they can come to you to discuss the bigger things.
- Show up. Always being there for their special moments. Award ceremonies at school if it’s at all possible. Recitals, plays, sporting events. Be at everything you can be and cheer them on. Don’t coach from the sidelines, but let them know what they are doing is the best and that you are proud to be there.
- Encouragement to try new things. When opportunities arise for them to do something they might not normally do encourage them to go ahead and give it a try.
- Be positive. Show them how to be self confident by being self confident yourself. Having a positive attitude and graciously accepting compliments will teach them how to have confidence.
- Correct negative talk. If your child begins speaking negatively about herself and her ability, then you need to redirect that and reassure them that a failure is not the end of the world. You have just got to get right back up on that horse and try again. Remind them that the things we work the hardest at are the most rewarding.
- Responsibility. Teach them from a young age how to be responsible for things. Give them age appropriate chores. Even a toddler can help clear the dinner table or pick up his toys. Start them young with these small tasks and praise them for completing the task.
- Fill your home with love and a sense of capability. Self esteem needs both love and a feeling of capability. If your child is getting one and not the other, then that can lead to low self esteem. So always be loving and encouraging with everything.
It is so important to have high self esteem and to instill this in our children from the very beginning. It’s never too late to start though. If you notice there’s a problem, then seek help. There is never shame in asking for help. Begin being more aware of the words you use and how you are treating your children to begin creating that high self esteem.
How do you build your child’s self esteem?
As a member of Clever Girls Collective, I was selected to participate in the Healthy Habits program sponsored by Kimberly-Clark and Colgate-Palmolive. The content and opinions expressed here are all my own. #healthyhabits #cgc
Very good reminders! Thanks for posting these tips. I try to do all of these. We’re just starting with chores (for my almost 4 & almost 3 year old) – they seem excited about it, but actually getting them to do it is a different story!
This is definitely great advice. I can’t think of any others to add here, this is a very good list.
great post thanks for sharing