See that beautiful girl on the right there? That would be my middle daughter. My ten year old. My social butterfly. She is constantly talking at home to the point where many times we have to start the quiet game to see who can stay the quietest the longest. If you could see her face trying to hold back from talking; it’s so hard for her. She’s so torn between her love of talking and her desire to beat her sister at anything. No one tell her that she has her sister beat at most consecutive minutes talking.
Oddly enough she apparently is not this gabby anywhere else, but at home. Teachers are always telling me she’s quiet in school. Not too quiet, just the right amount of quiet. She’s quiet when she needs to be and talks when she’s supposed to be is what it boils down to. Her best friend’s mother loves having her over because she says she’s so quiet. I guess some of the girls her daughter has over are more than just talkative. They are just down right LOUD. And this is true, we have had these girls over. It’s like some of them never learned how to use their inside voice. They almost seem to always be yelling about something.
I Am Not Used To This Social Calendar
While my oldest daughter is involved in some things she’s more of a home body. Like her mom. Her sister is always wanting to go to her friend’s house. And sometimes I’m torn between letting her and not letting her.
For example, on the first day of school she wanted to go with her friend to a football game after school. I wanted her to stay home and eat the special dinner I had prepared and tell me about her day. But then again I thought I don’t want to stop her from experiencing certain things. Ultimately I let her go, but she had to bring her backpack home from school first.
When that was over she was trying to make plans for a sleep over with her friend for the weekend. I had to put my foot down to it though. She hadn’t spent too much time at home and I wanted to find out how school was. My husband actually hadn’t seen her much so I wanted them to spend some time together. She was bummed, but okay.
This weekend though she is off again. She is sleeping over her friend’s house tonight. Tomorrow they will be off to a football game and then heading to a birthday party. She’s busy.
And my oldest has never been too crazy about sleepovers. She has slept over friend’s houses a few times, but for the most part she prefers being home.
I Think There’s Some Jealousy
I should say I know there’s some jealousy. Because I am a little jealous. Not in a bad way mind you just in a wondering sort of way. Like what would my life have been like if I was hanging out with my friends after school and on the weekends more often at that age. And it’s not that I wasn’t allowed to either because I could have. I just didn’t want to. Now I wonder did I miss out? Probably not, I hated being forced to sleep on my friend’s floor because she wouldn’t give up her bed for her friend. The different foods they would eat and being polite that it tasted good, but starving because I never finished it. The strange smells and sounds of other people’s homes. It all just made me uncomfortable.
But not my 10 year old. She loves going over her friend’s house. It’s funny because she loves going over there because it’s so quiet, but her friend loves coming here because it’s always so busy. There’s always someone to play with.
I think my oldest daughter is feeling a little like I do. She has made a few comments. I told her that if she wants to go to a friend’s house or have one over she most certainly can. I’ll ask you 20 questions, but I generally try not to stand in the way of them having social time with their friends.
At the same time my oldest is being jealous of her sister she’s also encouraging me to let her go because she says I’m nicer when her sister is not here. Really, what happens is they aren’t bickering with one another so I’m not yelling at them to stop. And just so you know when you are dealing with a teenager, even if you don’t call her by name she always thinks it only directed at her. And that usually starts the questioning of me having favorites. And if I should point out that I didn’t name anyone in particular she will say well you were looking at me or that I did tell her specifically to stop. No matter what I do I’m always out to get her. Even when I defend her that’s somehow wrong. See how fun teenagers are? I wonder if one day I’ll miss this stage? I’m sure I’ll miss her being here, but not the bickering about EVERYTHING.
So the only reason things seem different is because she has one less sibling to fight with (bickering or for my attention). I can’t get her to understand that. She wants her to move in with her best friend though. I know not nice, but she seems to think that will mean she gets the room to herself.
Needless to say it has been interesting going from having a child who really only goes out for school functions and the occasional birthday party to one who talks on the phone to her friend and has to call her as soon as she walks in the door even though she just saw her. If she’s like this now at 10 what will she be like in 3 years when she is a teenager? Whatever it is, I hope I’m prepared.
Do you have one child who’s a home body and one who’s a social butterfly? How do you handle those differences?
I only have one child, and he’s a socializer! He is pretty stranger friendly, though sometimes he is a little hesitant. However, usually within minutes he has made a new best friend!