I know I have some readers who don’t have children yet. Probably not a lot because it’s pretty clear this is a “mom blog”. I mean it says it right there in the title. So I suppose if you don’t have kids yet you’ll run screaming from a “mom blog”. But hey, some might be about to have children or some might be family or friends who are just trying to be supportive. And I appreciate you for whatever reason you come here to read.
I feel like I need to apologize though. Apologize for me, and apologize for the other “mom bloggers” out there who are trying to give people a real view of motherhood. We might actually be doing the childless a disservice here with all of this reality. Now while I feel my brand of real is a little more even keeled with the good and the bad mixed in some might be making motherhood seem, well, hopeless. So I want to set the record straight here. I want to give you the real real view of motherhood if you will.
Okay, we have all heard the new mom say, “I don’t have time to shower!” It’s true, it’s hard to shower when you have an infant. Sleep patterns are irregular. However, it’s not impossible. I might not have time to shave in the shower and I might not have time for makeup and to do my hair, but showering is kind of right up there with sleep. Gotta have it everyday so there is time to be found for it.
Sometimes you have to get creative. Sometimes it means you aren’t alone in the shower. Sometimes I have brought baby into the bathroom with me and put her in her swing or bouncy seat so I could grab a quick shower. I have even showered with a baby or child before. Hey, the kid needs to be bathed too, mine as well kill two birds with one stone, right? Showers are quick and rushed, but they don’t completely go out the window. You don’t need to just give in and give up just because you have kids.
I actually saw something this week that said just accept it if you have kids you’ll never keep up with the laundry. By the way, she has less kids than me. She was saying because of all of the other things like feeding them and playing with them and taking care of them there’s just no time. I have to say I don’t entirely get that. Laundry is one of the easiest chores. Now I will admit sometimes I just get this I don’t want to do it feeling and before I know it my basket is overflowing. I have gotten better over time with keeping on top of it.
I kind of feel if someone is just giving up on laundry, then what does the rest of the house look like though? I am determined to not let the laundry beat me. While the basket might not be completely empty ever, I work hard to keep it manageable. Honestly, even those who I know who have a serious distaste for laundry and have kids don’t ever seem to give up and blame the kids for it. It is what it is. It’s not going to be as easy as it was when you were just washing for yourself or you and your husband, but it’s not going to break you and this too shall pass as with everything.
It is one of those chores that when kids are little they love helping you do. All of my children have known how to sort clothes by 6 years old. They love helping me fold. Although, I must admit sometimes that makes it take longer and sometimes I’ll just wait to fold when they are in bed. Other than that stuff the washing machine and dryer really do the rest of the work for you. So before you head out to the park throw a load in the wash. When you get back in the dryer it goes. If you have a system it isn’t impossible.
Don’t let the laundry beat you. If it does and you really begin to throw your hands up in despair, then there might not be hope for you.
People with kids live in filth. Not really true. Yes you might come over and the house might look like Toys R Us exploded in it, but let me tell you with little kids you’ll probably actually have a very clean home. Clean in the sense that your floors are clean because you’re constantly cleaning up spills. Your walls are clean because you’re constantly cleaning up finger prints. Your windows are clean because you’re constantly cleaning off lip marks. So there is likely going to be clutter and chaos and that lived in look, but it will be clean.
Okay, the dishes might pile up because after running around all day cleaning up all those messes the thought of washing another dish doesn’t seem appealing. You might switch to paper plates for a while until your oldest is old enough to wash dishes and take that chore off your hands for you. But the fact is your floors will be clean enough to eat off because chances are someone will be eating off the floor. Seriously no sooner does that cracker hit the floor and you turn around to toss it does the toddler manage to get across the room in a nano second to scoop up that cracker and stick it in her mouth. So your floors better be clean for that.
As far as the toy clutter goes, I personally try to keep it at a minimum and do clean sweeps throughout the day. The children pitch in to clean up their toys and then at the end of the night I gather up the strays and they go in the “Ransom Bin”. It’s not usually too bad and I’m not constantly stepping on or over toys this way. But my house has a lived in look.
Motherhood will change you, there’s no doubt about that. However, it does not mean you have to give up and give in to everything around you. If you like nice things, then you find a way to keep the nice things. You set boundaries and have a special kid area. There’s no reason to give up and resign yourself to your life just being one sloppy mess of not showering, no clean clothes ever, and a messy house. This isn’t your life unless you want it to be your life. And it won’t be exactly the same as before, but you’ll find in the end it all doesn’t really matter. There are more important things to worry about.
At the end of the day when it’s all said and done, yes you’re exhausted. Yes your clothes are crumpled and possibly stained. Yes you might have food stuck in your hair from the sticky toddler’s hand, but you also get countless hugs and kisses. Enormous amounts of laughs every day. And the satisfaction of watching these little people turn into responsible adults. And that’s what it’s all about.
So what am I forgetting? Childless readers, are there any other clarifications you need from the real “mom blogger”? What about you moms out there? Do you have anything you’d like to add?